AN EXCERCISE IN SURREALISM

Anyone who is even the slightly Internet-savvy knows that tags and key words are important in directing traffic to your web site. So, after every article I put up on this blog, I add in the key words and tags that are relevant to the story I am posting, to make it easier for people to find the information on my site when they are searching the web. Of course, I routinely use phrases like “belly dance”, “raqs sharqi”, “costume construction”, “Egyptian dance” and so on.

Recently, while analyzing my web stats, I looked up my Key Word Analysis, and it seems that all my tags are working just fine.

However, there is another stat-counting tool called Recent Key Word Activity, of which I wasn’t aware. This function shows the words or phrases people type in on their own, which also directs them to your site.

Curious about this, I looked up my Recent Key Word Activity…and to say I was AMUSED is putting it lightly. I almost fell off my chair, or, in texting/chatting lingo I was ROTFLAO ( translation: Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off ).

The bad spelling and broken English in the Recent Key Word Activity wasn’t even the best part- it was the pure, unadulterated psychosis of the phrases... not to mention the fact that people are actually spending their time searching for this obviously extremely important information!

I will share a few of the best phrases here, the Top Ten… saving the best for last. Please note that every single phrase is copied exactly as it appeared on my stats.

#10. “BREAK DANCE CAIRO WHITE CROW”

#9. “CIRCUS FOOD SELLER COSTUME”

#8. “WOMAN EVIL MAKE-UP”

#7. “EGYPTIAN AIR FLIGHT ATTENDANT DRESS”

#6. “PRINCESSES WHO CHANGED TIME”

#5. “DISCO IN CAIRO FOR BALK POEPPLE”

#4. “DRAG QUEEN FACE WHITENING TIPS”

#3. “ ANIMAL FARHANA WINGS AND PANTIES”

#2. “ARABS WOMEN HEAVY HIP SEXY DANCE”

#1. “EGYTIAN DANCER FIFI ABDOU FUCK”