DAMN YOU AUTOCORRECT...BELLY DANCE STYLE

I adore my iPhone, even though I’m… ahem… of the age where I can recall all too clearly thinking that FAX machines were sheer magic. In fact,  when I got my phone, my teenage niece had to set my phone up for me, and I’m reasonably sure I’m only using it to a tiny fraction of it’s potential. There are many wonderful apps and tricks to be learned and used.

 We all know that spell check and autocorrect is of the best – and worst- features on smart phones.  There are the funny, odd word substitutions that autocorrect makes as a matter of course; for instance, a friend recently texted me asking if she could borrow my  “oink” veil… and I instinctively knew she meant my pink one!  And since I often use a lot of “colorful language” in my texts, my phone decides to substitute words like ducking instead of the he rhyming oath I’m attempting to type!

 But I think really there needs to be a special  Damn You Autocorrect site for belly dancers only.

  If my  own phone is any indication, many words that are “indigenous” to belly dancers – including common Arabic terms and casually used dancers slang- magically start appearing instead of the “every day” English words I’m trying to use.  

 I can’t be the only one with this problem, right?

 For instance, when I was texting to a neighbor about our parking situation, the word “garage” became Ghawazee.  She had absolutely no clue what I was writing about!

   If I  discuss grabbing a cab, “taxi” always  turns into taxim,  “have to” magically becomes hafla and when I attempt to write  “ I said”, the word Saidi appears.

When I tried typing “infinite” autocorrect decided I was really trying to say infidel;  “being” immediately becomes bling-bling and the word “because” routinely turns into beledi.  

  When texting about  a dish I was bringing to a  ( non belly dance) pot-luck party, “make some”  became maksoum;   the word  “easy”  it  always  becomes  Egypt ,  “purchase”  comes up as Persia and when I  give directions  to my house, “turn ”  morphs into Turkey.  The words "still" or "silly" become zills and  whenever I write the word "about", it turns into Abdou ... as in Fifi!

  Naturally, I’ve learned to live with these silly substitutions, but  they still make me- and most of the people I’m texting-laugh out loud.The one thing I cannot understand though, is that no matter how many times I write my stage name, for some reason, autocorrect never thinks it’s valid.

The general public might think  of me as Princess Farhana... but to my phone, I’ll always be Princess Farmhand!

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 Get an autographed copy of The Belly Dance Handbook  or my memoir Showgirl Confidential: My Life Onstage, Backstage And On The Road here:

http://www.princessfarhana.com/shop.htm

Photo and graphics by Maharet Hughes

A FEW WORDS ABOUT HOLIDAY GLITTER

Happy Holidays,  everyone!

This is a re-post from 2011,  but according to my blog stats, it’s one of my most popular posts ever!  Enjoy…

Ah, glitter! Where would we dancers be without it? No doubt you've heard this saying  before:

"Glitter Is The Herpes Of The Art World"

I'm not sure who originally said this, but like Herpes, glitter is certainly the gift that keeps on giving-it gets all over everything, and stays embedded no matter how much you try to get rid of it. It sticks to you, your significant other, your pets, your furniture. In fact, I don't even think comparing it to Herpes drives home the point of how much glitter pollutes everything it gets near.

I prefer this saying, which I made up myself:

"Glitter Has More Of A Half-Life Than Uranium!"

What was once the sole domain of pre-teens and strippers, glitter is now a performance mainstay for all types of dancers...as well as gymnasts, cheerleaders and gals who like to sparkle on the dance floor during a night on the town.

And now that the Holidays are upon us, glitter is EVERYWHERE.

Glitter looks lovely under stage lights, it will highlight your every movement and make you look like a fairy dusted fantasy. It can be applied to the skin , and even on top of the stockings on your legs - or body stockings, if you wear them. There are many types of commercial body glitters available; they come in sprays, oils, and in little solid waxy bars as well as in the “sprinkle on” type. However, I prefer to make my own body glitter mix; it looks much better with my coloring, and it also saves money!

On your face and especially around your eyes, you must wear cosmetic glitter. In the old days glitter was made of metal flakes. Now, glitter is usually made of some type of copolymer plastic. The individual cosmetic glitter flakes are laser cut, in shapes that are are oval and/or rounded, not square or octagonal the way most craft glitter is cut. When used on your face, this will reduce (but not prevent!) any injury, should the glitter get into your eyes. Also, some craft glitter is still made of metal.

How do I know this? I am so glitter-obsessed that I actually have a friend who was a biology student at Berkeley look at many types of body glitter, craft glitter and cosmetic grade glitter under her microscope! I sent her lots of unlabeled glitter samples, and she told me what shape they were and what they were made of…it was extremely educational!

But back to making your own body glitter and saving money by doing it- since you will not risk potential injury by using craft glitter on your body, there is no need for you to buy expensive, pre-made body glitter.

Buy a few different colors of regular, inexpensive craft glitter, the kind in the big shakers, then mix them up in a jar and pop it into your gig bag, along with a small container of hand lotion or body cream. When you want to glitter up, just mix the two products in the palm of your hand and apply it liberally to your skin.

For my own body glitter mix, since I am fair-skinned, I use equal parts of lavender, opalescent pink, iridescent white, gold and silver. If you have skin that is darker, you might want to also mix in shades of bronze, orange, opalescent yellow and copper.

Deeper colors of glitter such as dark reds, purples, black, blues or greens tend to look ashy and strange onstage, so stick to a mix of shades that enhance your natural skin tone.

Insane as this may sound, I also think glitter is a great exfoliant! When you wash it off in the shower, it totally helps to slough off any rough or dead skin cells.

A word to the wise: though glitter looks great in motion ( such as in performance, on film or videotape) but in still photos, but it can appear gritty and make your skin look bumpy, unless you are photographed from very close up, so think about doing some promo shots without it, then adding on the sparkles... or just saving it for performances.

Oh, and be prepared to sleep in a bed full of pixie dust, because that’s exactly what you’ll be doing post-show, even if you showered the moment you got home!

I’ll say it one more time: do not use craft glitter on your face!

Now get on out there and SPARKLE!

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If you’d like to purchase latest book, Showgirl Confidential: My Life Onstage, Backstage And On The Road  and have me sign it for you, or for a gift, click here:  http://www.princessfarhana.com/book_showgirl.htm

A DANCER'S SURVIVAL GUIDE TO THE HOLIDAYS

 The Holidays...they're heeeere!

For many dancers, the holiday season is a usually huge moneymaker. There are oodles of private gigs for Christmas, Hanukah and New Year’s Eve parties. There are also many  year-end corporate gigs, office parties, and charity events going on. Clubs and restaurants are crowded and want more live entertainment than during other times of the year, and patrons customarily tip more generously. The standard rate for New Year’s Eve gigs used to be triple what you’d normally receive, but with money being tight everywhere, this sadly isn’t the case so much anymore. Though there is certainly an opportunity to make bank during the holidays, it may also be an idea to think of what you are forfeiting by doing those shows.

  Since we perform so often on holidays no matter what time of year, they usually don’t seem like a day off for dancers.

 To begin with, because of gigs, you are spending your holiday away from loved ones. You dance at other people’s holiday celebrations (not to mention birthday parties, weddings, graduation ceremonies, etc.) year-round, but don’t celebrate those occasions yourself, because you are working. During Christmastime through New Year’s Eve, in order to work, you’re braving not only the weather, but also bumper-to-bumper traffic, long lines at police sobriety checkpoints, and even if you don’t imbibe at all you’re risking the potential hazards of others who are driving while under the influence.

 I have always had a steadfast rule about my holiday gigs- especially New Year’s Eve:  Just Say No. It doesn’t mean that I don’t accept holiday gigs- I do, frequently. It’s just that I am ultra-choosy about which ones I accept, as well as how I schedule them.

 Though it might seem crazy, throughout the years, the Just Say No policy has served me well. Unless I am absolutely certain I can get to and from a show (or multiple shows) on time and get paid what I am worth, I’d rather stay home. That means I won’t be spending the New Years Countdown stuck in traffic, stressing cause I’m late for a show; or shivering in a drafty backstage or lonely hallway waiting through endless techno renditions of “Auld Lang Syne” and lengthy toasts to perform a set for a bunch of revelers who are only focused on where their next glass of champers is coming from! Choose your holiday gigs wisely, and decide for yourself it it’s worth the sacrifices you will inevitably make.

 Another thing to think about is your own safety- and I don’t mean the common-sense rules that usually apply, like bringing an escort to a private gig or making sure you get a deposit in advance. Holiday gigs present a variety of “hazards” that may not be present at other times of the year. Specifically, I’m talking about things like open flames from candles, spiky evergreen boughs, breakable glass ornaments, and clusters of snaking extension cords for holiday lighting. While these all make a home or restaurant pretty and enticing, they could be dangerous for you…so scope your performance space out carefully, don’t get too close to anything that could break and cut you or snag your costume – or set it on fire! And while you’re performing in a smaller space, really try to get a bead on the drunks in the audience (they’re always there, but even more so at this time of year!) and practice your crowd-control skills…because you’ll need them!

 One last thought:  give yourself a holiday gift. As dancers we spend most of the year giving: we give our time and energy all year round to our audiences and  students. We are always “on”, whether we are actually onstage or not. Though we may try to rest and prepare for this, we always seem to put ourselves last on the list of recipients. It’s a wonderful thing to do, that whole external out-pouring of energy… but by the end of the year, you may develop a deficit that can sap you emotionally and mentally as well as physically.

During this fun but oh-so-hectic season, make sure to take some much-needed “quality time” to recharge your batteries and give back to yourself… even if it’s just  spending time with your family, friends and beloved pets, or stealing a few moments of quiet each day! A massage or a nice hot bath with Epsom salts are great year-round, but a necessity at this time of year, so treat yourself to some quiet relaxation, because you’ll need it!

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 In honor of the holidays, I’m having a Black Friday-through-Cyber Monday  sale… many of my DVD’s and my new book “Showgirl Confidential” are on sale here:

 http://www.princessfarhana.com/video.htm