Even though Christmas is over, the Holiday Season is still in full swing, and with New Year's Eve coming up, I thought now would be a good time to talk tipping.
Belly dance and tipping have been thought of together almost as much as peanut butter and jelly, and there are many traditions connected with tipping.
It
is believed that the reason for coins on belly dance costumes stems from days
of yore, when women would dance in public and receive coins from spectators which were later sewn onto their clothing, possibly as part of a marriage
dowry. Descriptions of this
practice are documented in writing from travelers who visited the Middle East
during the 17th, 19th and 19th centuries. Early 20th century
photographs of the North African Ouled Nail tribe document the women wearing elaborate coin
headdresses above gowns
bedecked in coin decorations.
Known for their dancing (as well as prostitution) the images of the Ouled
Nail still
fascinate viewers, and their dress has also influenced modern belly dance
costuming.
Tipping
dancers at weddings is traditional in many cultures, and though the tips are
showered upon the dancer, they often signify good luck and prosperity for the
happy couple.
Contrary
to popular belief, the practice of in-costume tipping seems to have originated
in American nightclubs,
during the latter half of the 20th century. In the Middle East, tipping a
well-known dancer during a show at a better hotel is usually not done, and as
far as I have seen, in Egypt, there is no custom of in-costume or body tipping
there either. However, showering a dancer with money seems to be fairly
commonplace at street weddings.
When a dancer is working with musicians
and singers and tips are littering the stage, the tips are usually divided in a
three-way split: the dancer gets a third, the band gets a third and the last
portion goes to the house. I’ve worked at some places where the tips placed into a
dancers’ costume were hers to keep, and the rest were divided between all the
performers and the house.
Tipping
is still a popular practice at belly dance shows, not just for
monetary reasons but because the very act of tipping is a way for audiences to relate to the dancer, as well as show appreciation for her skills.
There
are several ways to tip dancers, and they vary according to the venue, local
laws, the ethnicity or culture of the patron, or the individual dancer’s preference.
TIPPING
STYLES
In-Costume Tipping
Though
tips have always a large part of a working dancer’s income, some performers
have a rather uneasy relationship with tipping. Sometimes this is because they
associate accepting
tips with strippers or gentleman’s
clubs, but more often than not it’s because they are uncomfortable accepting
tips tucked into their costumes.
In-costume tipping is what most non-
Arab audiences think of as the “standard” way to tip dancers, and it can
definitely be done in a respectable fashion. Usually, the most suitable
location for a tip is tucked into the side of the dancer’s belt, although many dancers
accept tips in the straps of their
costumes. In general, tipping in intimate areas, such the front or rear
center of the dancers belt, her cleavage or the cups of her bra is considered
to be an invasion of personal space.
If someone is attempting to tip you in an area you are not comfortable
with, just stay a little out of out of his or her reach, and when you come in
to accept the tip, offer your hip instead. This little dodge usually works well-most people don’t want to be
disrespectful, they’re simply excited about the interaction.
At
the Armenian parties and clubs in Hollywood during the 1990’s, I got the
impression that tipping the dancer was a way of the patrons to show their status.
One man would whip out a twenty-dollar bill,and flash it around to make sure
everyone saw it before he put it in my belt. His friend would do the same with a
fifty-dollar bill, and often the patron after that would take out a wad of
seventy-five or a hundred ones and tuck them in all over my costume,
before throwing the rest over my head- or slapping a bill directly onto my head, which leads us to:
Body Tipping
Some dancers refer to in-costume tipping as “body tipping”,
but in my opinion, body tipping is a completely separate cultural
practice. This style of tipping is
very popular among Greeks, Turks and Armenians and Israelis- but isn’t limited to people from those countries.
Body tips seem to occur most often in mid-set,
when the dancer is getting a little sweaty, because the tip is typically
pressed or lightly tapped onto the center of the dancer’ forehead…though I’ve
received similar body tips on my abdomen
and arms.
Tipping dancers on the
forehead is a custom, dating back to Ottoman Turkey. The young female impersonators known as
kochek dancers received their tips
this way, only in those days, the tips were coins, not bills! In Turkish
Romany (gypsy) dances the
dancer will often tap their forehead, and this gesture is understood to be a
request for tip.
Money
Showers
Money
showers are an extravagant display as well as a way of tipping the dancer
without actually touching her. Often, at Arabic restaurants and nightclubs, a
waiter or a shill planted in the audience will start the money showers to
get the crowd going. Then, the
patrons will continue, by taking a handful of money and “ raining” it down over
the dancer’s head, flipping the bills down one by one, while she is performing.
Many
Arabic nightclubs keep stacks of crisp dollar bills on hand for the purpose of
money showers. When a customer
wants to tip the dancer, a singer or the band, they’ll hand the waiter the
amount they wish to tip, or have it added onto their bill. The waiter steps
up to the stage tip the performers, throws a few bills into the air, then palms the rest of the bills in a fluttering "shower", raining over the dancers
head, then indicating where the money came from with a sweeping gesture.
In
Los Angeles, at the Arab clubs where I worked in the mid-90, there
were so many Saudis giving money to the waiters to throw on the stage
that dancing actually became risky- it was like ice-skating
on money!
In
the lower class cabarets of Cairo, I’ve noticed that there is almost always a
stagehand whose sole job is to sweep up the tips from the stage and dance floor
before depositing them into a locked box that is kept on the stage.
If
you receive a money shower at a wedding or a private party, often a family
member will pick up your tips and get them to you after your show. Children seem to love this job, and
will feel special collecting your tips from the floor and delivering them to
you, so if there is nobody around to pick up after you, it is a good idea to
pre-arrange the duty with a
couple of kids.
Passing
The Hat…Or More Frequently, The Basket
This
type of tipping is frequently seen at outdoor festivals, Renaissance Faires and
street performances, but many dance troupes performing at indoor venues use
this practice to good advantage.
When dancing in a group situation, it’s difficult to accept tips during
choreographies, so near the
end of a set, many dancers leave their performance space to “pass the hat”
among the crowd. Often, this is done to music and may include
audience-participation dancing as well.
A
showy and creative way to do
this without seeming like the dancers are begging is to have a couple of troupe
members or a soloist dance through the crowd with tipping baskets balanced on their headsor carrying tambourines into which the tips are placed. The audience seems to
love the novelty and will happily part with cash…because it’s part of the
show.
Tip
Jars
Though
this doesn’t happen too often, once in a while venues will have a large,
visible tip jar set out for the dancers, either because the dancing is done on
a raised stage, or in order to keep up a “family friendly” atmosphere and
discourage body-tipping.
Post-Show
Gratuities
There
are a few situations such as private parties or corporate events where tips are
discouraged… but you may wind up getting tipped in the form of a post-show
gratuity. Usually, this will be discussed with you in advance so you’ll know
what to expect. In cases such as this, the dancer’s gratuity will be either be
added onto her pay or handed to her separately in an envelope.
Sometimes, whether tipping is condoned
or not, audience members take it upon themselves to tip the dancer post-show,
either by having a waiter deliver the tip, or by giving it to the dancer
themselves.
I used to work at a French Arabic club in
Los Angeles where tipping the dancers was frowned upon. A regular client came up to me
after a show, complimented me on my performance and discreetly handed me a
folded bill. I thanked him and put it in my pocket. As I left
the club, I transferred the tip to my wallet- and saw that it was a hundred
dollar bill!
Creative
Tipping
At the
many Lebanese and Armenian clubs that were around Los Angeles “back in the
day”, people liked to get inventive with the way they tipped- it often
became a friendly (and increasingly wild) competition to
see which table could come up with the most ingenious way to tip…which of
course, was terrific for us dancers.
I’d get a lot of bills folded up into shapes like Origami, ( dragons, bow-ties, flowers) but
some patrons even brought their own staplers to the clubs! I was constantly draped in
stapled-together money necklaces, bracelets, cross-body bandoliers, headbands and belts of
money that customers would literally staple around my hips. If ever I took
my zills off and set them down during my set, there’d always be
dollars slipped through all the elastics! Those people were crazy and rowdy and fun, but always
respectful.
Non-Monetary
Tips
Tips
don’t always
come in the form of cash. Some venues feel it’s “low class” for their
customers to be handling cash, flinging money at the stage or tucking bills
into a dancer’s costume. I
often worked at a Greek club in Hollywood where they had a flower lady who
sold customers baskets of carnations to throw at the stage. The club
would keep track of how many baskets were sold during each dancer’s show,
and at the end of the night the band and the dancers would split the
monetary equivalent of the flower baskets that had been sold. It was always good money, but I hated
feeling the carnations squishing under my bare feet!
There
are also audience members who just get carried away in the moment, and leave
quite unusual tips. Once in Switzerland, a woman tipped me a gorgeous
antique ring right off her finger. I tried to give it back after the show
and she wouldn’t let me. I have received numerous bouquets of flowers
sent to my dressing room or the venue where I was appearing. I’ve also gotten tickets to events,
retail gift cards, and currency from foreign lands. And of course, what working
dancer hasn’t
gotten a business card with “call me” furtively scrawled on it…can’t blame a
guy for trying, right?
The
most extravagant tip I’ve ever received was from a regular at a Los Angeles
club where I used to perform. After my show, he handed me an
expensive-looking leather jewelry box. I politely refused it, explaining
I had a boyfriend and wasn’t interested in a relationship, but he insisted over
and over that I keep it, so I thanked him politely and left. At
home, I opened the box and inside was pair of solid 22-karat
gold earrings, with a lotus at the earlobe, and large dangling sphinx
heads!
TIPPING
AND CROWD CONTROL
Over
the years, I learned how to master the art of crowd control. Before I started
dancing professionally, I avidly watched many seasoned dancers working. I
studied the way they handled crowds, watched their interactions with their
audiences, the way they accepted tips and the way they handled rowdy
customers. I noticed that the
dancers never picked up their tips from the floor, and learned that it was
considered a big, tacky faux pas to do so!
Most
clubs and restaurants have a system in place where an employee, such as the
manager or a waiter, will pick up the dancer’s tips and bring them to her
dressing room after the show. If tips fall from your costume and a customer
notices, they’ll sometimes let you know. In this case, I either assure them the
waiter will get it for me or ask if they wouldn’t mind retrieving it.
Dancers
always appreciate a lively, demonstrative crowd, and it’s our job to get the
audience riled up and festive. Don’t be afraid to make direct eye contact with your audience members-
it’s the surest way to make them feel connected to you- and to get them to tip you!
By using gestures alone, you can have the
entire crowd clapping along to the music, or get them to be silent during a
quiet part of your set. If you
want to break the ice with a tough crowd, the best way to do it is to call a
child up to dance with you- they’ll almost always jump at the chance, it’s cute
and people love a good photo op.
If there are no kids around, select a pretty, vivacious-looking woman,
and pretty soon her friends will join in. If someone you’ve gotten up to dance overstays their
welcome, just “present” them to
the crowd, and get them all to applaud- everyone will understand the idea that their dancin’ machine friend is now taking a bow, and should return to their seat.
Once
in a while, things can get a little out of hand, especially if the venue serves
alcohol. If anyone does anything
during your show that’s pushing your personal boundaries, interfering with your
comfort-zone, being disruptive or seems dangerously intoxicated, either enlist the service of the nearest
waiter or remove yourself from the situation right away and report it to
the management!
Inevitably,
you’ll encounter some show off that’ll offer you a tip… held in his teeth. I’ve found that the best way to handle this is with humor and pantomime. I’ll either pat the guy on the head as
though he was a dog with a
bone in his mouth, or gaze directly at another member of his party, point at
the offender and pull a comical face that silently asks “What’s he doing?” Usually, someone will make him stop- or they’ll grab the
money and tip you properly!
Many audiences are unsure of tipping
protocol, and don't want to offend the dancer or do something impolite. There are a few discreet ways to let them know that tipping is OK.
Often, dancers will seed their belts with hidden a bill or two (which can be prudently revealed
mid-set) giving the audience the idea that tipping is acceptable. Another
way to do this is to have the servers help you out before you go on by
courteously asking patrons if anyone needs change to tip the dancer.
Whenever you get tipped, make sure to thank the person who tipped you, either verbally or with a nod of thanks and a smile.
Tipping
is a way for the audience to tell you how much your performance
meant to them. It’s our job as dancers to transport the
audience, and by receiving their tips graciously, you can also take
satisfaction in knowing that you have done your job… and done it well.
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