IF ONLY THEY KNEW: A BELLY DANCER'S INTERNAL DIALOG DURING A SHOW

 On-duty  at my regular restaurant gig

 Restaurant gigs  are one of the primary jobs for many belly dancers. They can be very  lucrative, and they’re usually  lots of fun because the dancer gets to interact with the customers  up close and personal.

However, while we sometimes are completely in the moment and being transported by the music, there’s also a litany of “dancer problems” that go hand-in-hand with these  intimate shows, which are often done in very small spaces, with no stage, dancing among the tables.

I’ve been dancing at restaurants for  twenty-seven years…and that pretty much  qualifies me as having seen (and heard) it all… or at least  pretty close to it!

 While the general public is getting a beautiful floor show, the scenario in the performer’s mind- masked by a dazzling stage smile- is often quite different  than what the audience is experiencing.

 Here are some of the thoughts running through my head  at various times during restaurant sets.

 Can you relate?

1. Please don’t even entertain the notion of tipping me with your greasy hummus fingers!

2. Humiliating the birthday boy or girl is not in my job description.

3. Holy crap, this song’s almost over- how the hell did that happen?

4.Yeah, uptight-lady-hanging-on-tightly- to-your man, it’s sad but true:  the only  real reason I’m dancing here is because I want to seduce your  fat, balding husband… who by the way, has zero table manners.

 5.Please God, don’t let me get my period.

6.Why does  this veil feel so heavy tonight? It’s just a piece of silk!

 7. If that waiter crosses in front of me one more time to refill water glasses, I’m gonna  cut a bitch!

8. Sorry dude,  but your business card doesn’t count as a tip. 

 9. Surprise! I speak English- and even though you seem to be  an authority on this  insane theory you’re espousing  so loudly, I didn’t get any ribs removed to be able to  dance this way.

10. Not taking my top off. It just ain’t gonna happen.

11. I saw a zero on that bill- please let it be a fifty-oh please, oh please, oh please.

 12. I hope the audience can’t tell that my foot is bleeding like a stuck pig from that glass I just stepped on.

 13. While I appreciate your concern, would you please quit yelling about-and pointing to-the dollar that fell on the floor?

This isn’t an isolated incident… it’s happened….oh, a couple of times before.

14. Can you keep your  toddlers under control?

 15. Can you keep your pubescent son and his testosterone-infused teenage pals under control?

16. Can you keep your absolutely  shit-faced  party guests under control?

I7. I you try to offer me a tip that’s held in your teeth, I will pat you on the head like a dog. I might even go “woof woof” to see if you respond in kind.

 18. I got you up to dance cause it seemed like it would be fun…for a minute or so! Do you think you could possibly manage to sit down before my shift is over?

No? Well then how about before I retire from my dance career?

19. Please God, don’t let me sneeze into these nice people’s dinner.

 20. You aren’t “offending" me by offering a tip. If you knew how much this costume cost you’d probably puke up your baba ganoush  right on the table!

21. Contrary to popular belief, a one dollar bill from a party of fifteen-plus diners is not a  great tip. Save it for the valet- he’ll be only slightly less horrified than I am.

 22. Oh no… I think my right eyelash is about to fall off!

 23. Where in the actual fuck did you get the idea that “most belly dancers are fat and have mustaches”?

 24. Do. Not. Try. To. Poke. My. Belly. Button. 

25. I hope  still  I  have some Chardonnay left  at home…

 #

Come say hi to me on the Inter-Webs !
www.princessfarhana.com
www.pleasantgehman.com
www.facebook.com/pleasant.gehman
www.facebook.com/princess.farhana
www.twitter.com/PrincessFarhana
www.instagram.com/princessofhollywood

-->

DREAMS REALLY DO COME TRUE

"The Belly Dance Handbook" release party at Studio Iqaat, Los Angeles. Photo by Graphic Vibe/LA

 Dreams really do come true…

And setting goals and working hard makes a dream become a reality.

Live stream viewer Alice Dee sent this picture  

This past Friday, February 7^th, 2014 I had proof of that at the launch party for my “Belly Dance Handbook”. The party, held at Studio Iqaat in Los Angeles was fabulous. Some of my favorite LA dancers performed Egyptian, American Cabaret and Tribal Fusion, and my favorite drummers Issam Houshan and Donavon Lerman, who owns the venue, played. The party was streaming live on the internet, and people from all over  the world "attended"!

Writing the book was a dream of mine for years. Combining my two favorite things- dancing and writing- seemed to be a no-brainer, but it was also years of hard work. It was work that I enjoyed immensely, and did with love, but still, it was A Process.

Sabrina shows how smart belly dancers are!

I’m not sure if you readers realize that I actually started this blog in 2009 to force myself to write the book!  The idea had been floating around in my head for ages before I started working to make it a reality. I wrote at home with kitties sitting on my lap batting at the keyboard, and on the road in foreign hotel rooms at 3:00 am when I couldn’t sleep. Then I edited each and every thing I wrote mercilessly. Though writing came easily, other things did not. I’m a huge techno-tard, and I pushed myself to learn how to do things that were difficult for me, yet simple for others, like upload pictures and format a blog…and I’m still learning!  

 

Alli Ruth of Finland performing at the party

Before putting out the book myself, I sent it to a number of agents and publishers, who all told me that my book wouldn’t work because “there are already books on belly dancing”. So I realized I had to pull up my big girl panties and do it myself. This was great cause it meant that I could do the book the way I wanted to, but it was also kinda scary because I knew the staggering amount of work it would mean! Teaming up with graphic designer/ photographer Maharet Hughes (who is also a belly dancer, of course) made my vision come true. She understood what I needed and wanted the book to be, and we worked on it together for

Maharet Hughes, The book's designer

almost two years, through five re-writes, technical glitches, problems with photos and formatting. If I’m the mother of “The Belly Dance Handbook”, she’s my Baby Daddy!  When we first got the proofs of the book, we looked through them jumping up and down with glee, then started taking tons of pictures of them like crazy people, because the book was finally finite.  But then reality set in when we realized we’d have to correct the proof, and do everything all over again…which we did three more times!

  And giving credit where credit is due, I’m giving a huge shout-out to all you readers for your years of support!  Your comments, questions and wonderful emails have kept this blog- and the book- going!

THANK YOU!

#

Get a signed copy of  “The Belly Dance Handbook: A Companion For The Serious Dancer” here:

http://www.princessfarhana.com/shop.htm

OR

Purchase  “The Belly Dance Handbook” on Amazon:

http://tinyurl.com/nuxqhhr

Find out about wholesale rates for dance studios, book clubs, teachers and troupes by emailing here: princessraqs@gmail.com

Cover Design and photo by Maharet Hughes/ Graphic Vibe LA