SETTING DANCE GOALS FOR THE NEW YEAR

 With 2015 looming on the horizon, most of us are in a flurry of wrapping up our un-finished business of the past year, while at the same time making New Years Resolutions. Setting goals, and putting them down on paper- or on your computer screen- is definitely a way of making them real.

Take a few minutes to sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk with yourself, deciding upon exactly what you want to accomplish in the next year- and how to go about getting it!  What you want is clarity in your desires, permission to achieve them, and allowing the time to make them real.

 Here’s a few ideas I’ve used when making dance-oriented…or any kind… of New Year’s Resolutions.

 Take A Personal Inventory

Have a stroll down Memory Lane, and   see what you accomplished. Seeing what has worked for you in past year. Did you accomplish everything that you wanted to?

 If not, why not?

 Looking at what you did in 2014 will help you to define and refine what you want to do in the coming year. Avoid making the same mistakes!

Write It Down, Say It Out Loud

Once you decide on what goals you’d like to work on, say it out loud-to yourself and others, and write them down!

  These former thoughts are now no longer just free-floating ideas in your head…and that’s a good thing!

 But remember, now that they’re tangible, there needs to be follow-through, and that’s where most of us hit stumbling blocks: the goals aren’t going to manifest themselves- you have to help them along their path to becoming reality!

  Take Baby Steps

 Break up all of your long-term goals into specific, shorter, bite-sized tasks, so they won’t be as daunting.

Were your goals and resolutions from last year a little too gung-ho, or maybe a tad lofty?

 Dreaming big has always been a personal mantra of mine… but then I have to step back and remind myself that if I’m reaching for the stars, I’m the one who needs to build the spaceship!

There are many ways of building your personal rocket to the stars- it starts with an idea, the idea gets fleshed out, and then put into action.   Know that any stage of this process might have to go back to the drawing board. Taking baby steps is the key here, and so is giving yourself some wiggle room- allow yourself the kindness of putting your dreams into action without abandoning your plans if they don’t go exactly the way you wanted them to. You can always re-evaluate your goals and go to Plan B- or Plan S, if need be!

On a personal note, writing The Belly Dance Handbook was actually a New Year’s Resolution that I made in 2007, for the New Year of 2008… and, of course it didn’t come out that year!  The idea had been floating around in my head already for years, but that’s all it was until I put it into action, and took the appropriate baby steps  to get it done.  2008 was the year I started this blog, and it was all about testing the waters and laying the frame work  for actually writing- and finishing- my book.  The book took a good six and a half years  to finish,  but I kept adding it onto my resolutions for the next step, the next phase, the next year. As of  January 11,  2015, it’s been out for a year!

 Get Specific

 Were your resolutions too vague? “Practice more” is a great goal, but it’s kinda broad. Setting a more specific goal– and allowing yourself to re-consider and re-set it as needed might be easier to make that goal a reality.

 For instance, instead of “Practice More”, you might want to decide to drill on your own for at least fifteen minutes a day…only for the month of January. Put this into your calendar, and just do it. It’s only thirty-one days, after all.  If this idea is working well   for you at the end of January, then by all means continue it through February…and if it works well in February, continue it through March.

  Some things work better on paper than they do in real life. If your goal is not working for you, don’t beat yourself up, just re-define it. Don’t abandon it, amend it! Pick something do-able, something that will work with your schedule.  You’re not going to get penalized for being unable to commit to your original goal, you simply want to make it something you can do!

  Maybe your goal needs to become “Practice Fifteen Minutes A Day, Three Times A Week” or “Home Drilling Sunday Mornings, 10am-11am”.  Perhaps   an every day practice won’t work with your life- it was a good idea, but many of us are not full time dancers; we’re college students, moms, or career women in addition to being dancers.  In order to fulfill your goals on practice, make those sessions something special, not   drudgery, cause you’ll only wind up putting it off. Make your practice like a hot date…with yourself! Soon, you’ll find out that your “relationship” with dance is blooming, because it was allowed to grow naturally, over a period of time.

 Reward Yourself

 I’m a damn champion at holding personal contests (with prizes, of course) or dangling a carrot in front of myself so I can get a reward for something I wasn’t all that crazy about doing.  Maybe I’m easily duped, but it seems to work every time!  That’s how I finished   The Belly Dance Handbook.   I’d give myself a small reward every time I completed a chapter…or an entire book edit.

 I make “deals” with myself constantly on a smaller level to help stick to my every day goals as well.  Sometimes they’re pretty crazy, but that’s how I move forward.  My life is constantly all about small challenges and rewards.  I’m always   holding self-imposed   mini-challenges like “If I sew all the elastic onto these ten sets of finger cymbals for my class, then I can get that new MAC lipstick!”  Or  “ If I walk twenty minutes a day, every day, after three months, I’m allowed to not walk for a week!” But the thing is, by the time I had walked every day for three months, it was a habit, not a burden… and if I didn’t walk for a day, I actually missed it!

Believe In Yourself

 New Years Resolutions and goals in general are about figuring out- with your mind, body and soul- what is best for you as a dancer.  They’re optimistic and they often seem far-fetched.  But, as they say, if you’re gonna dream, dream big!

Perhaps for 2015, your first Resolution should believe in yourself as a dancer. If you give yourself permission to do that, then everything else you decide to achieve will fall into place easily.  

 I believe in you…you can do it!

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 Get a signed copy of The Belly Dance Handbook: A Companion For The Serious Dancer here: www.princessfarhana.com/shop.htm

 

Photo & Graphics: Maharet Hughes

DANCING INTO THE NEW YEAR

In the last few days of every year, many people begin making their New Years Resolutions. It’s universal and widespread; it’s practically a requirement! But as we all know, this practice often doesn’t have a very stellar track record. It’s almost as though in the act of deciding to better ourselves, we’re actually setting ourselves up for failure.  Then we beat ourselves up because we can’t stick to the impossible and rigid standards we’ve created.

This is often due to the fact that we set such lofty goals, there’s almost no way we can keep them. For years, I was so damn good at creating my own completely generalized and unrealistic goals in the name of New Years Resolutions that I wound up making crazy declarations that would implode in a matter of weeks … which lead to giving up and not making any at all!

Finally, I wised up and realized that the New Year should be a time for growing and redefining. It became clear that if I really wanted to make some life improvements for the up-coming year, I needed to set attainable goals, think them through and also decide on a do-able plan of action to bring them to life.

 Here’s what I do- while it may not be exactly right for you, it works for me.  You’ll need a pen and paper, a calendar, and some quiet time.

Reflect And Honor

 Before making any Resolutions, take some time to think about the past year.  Take stock and ruminate on what practices or habits that worked for you, as well as those that didn’t.

Think lovingly about special moments that you had with family, friends, your students or the cast of a show you worked on. Spend a little time honoring anyone you loved who passed away… be it two-legged, four-legged, someone you knew or a person that you admired from afar.

 Make two stream-of-consciousness lists. One should be of everything you accomplished and all the good things that happened to you. The other one is for goals you wanted to achieve but didn’t; relationships and events that were tinged with negativity, resentment- things that are bothering you or just never worked out.  Let your mind wander and write down anything that comes into your head.  Then look at both lists.  On the Accomplishment List, you’ll probably be kind of amazed at everything you did in the past year:  the projects you finished, the friends you made, and the triumphs you had. Own them!

Forgive, Forget or Reach Out

Now look at the other list. Allow yourself a few minutes to remember these incidents, and take a few moments to ponder why they didn’t work.  Don’t mull them over or beat yourself up… Let them go!

Sometimes, in order to really process through your unfinished business, you might need to write a New Years Note.  This may take a little more time, but the note doesn’t need to be lengthy, it can be simple, just a few lines. You can reach out with love to an estranged family member or friend…or you can “break up”-even if it’s just in your mind- with a person or project that is sapping your energy or patience. Just write a private note to yourself, separating yourself from this problem.  If you clarify why the situation is bothering you, you can change your own behavior and reactions to it, which will eventually allow you to make peace…at least with yourself.

List Specific Goals, Make A Plan Of Action And Take Baby Steps

 Now that you’ve let go of your baggage, it’s time to make a list of Resolutions. Again, it doesn’t need to be long- but it shouldn’t be vague. Be specific, and break everything down into bite-sized chunks that will easily allow your plans to spring into action by slowly and deliberately changing your habits.  A widely accepted thought is that it takes at least three weeks to develop a new habit…so allow yourself some time to change, and cut yourself some slack when the change isn’t instantaneous.

For example, instead of writing down “dance more”, aim to take an extra class or two a month and set aside some time for home practice. Instead of vowing to “lose weight”, promise yourself to be more mindful of what you’re eating and to begin walking two or three times a week.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that once I start adding in small positive changes, I start to feel better about myself, my new habits and what I’ve achieved…which in turn makes me want to accomplish even more.

 Give Yourself The Gift Of Time

 In our busy lives, time is the most valuable commodity we have. We’re always rushing off to dance class, rehearsals, gigs, the school carpool, or whatever.  We’re on our phones non-stop, checking texts, social media, and business emails.

Carve out some time for you to work on your projects and goals. Write it down, make it a reality. In the very act of writing everything you want to do down, it becomes “concrete”  and not just some ethereal idea floating around that can be postponed or procrastinated.

Once I’ve decided what larger goals I’d like to work towards, I split them up into   daily, weekly, monthly or even quarterly mini-goals that all go towards the greater goal I’d like to achieve. Before the New Year starts, I mark these notations on my calendar, and  during the New Year, I check them off as I fulfill them.

How do I find the time to do this? Sometimes I think I don’t have any spare time, but once I start looking, there’s a lot of it. I like to multi-task, but only to the extent that I can actually do two things at once in a competent way.  If I’m in line at the store or the bank, I return emails. When I absolutely need to watch “The Walking Dead”, I make damn sure I’m sewing a costume. If I’m sitting on an airplane, I’m planning out classes or workshops. But there are also times when a task needs my full attention.  I’ve learned to recognize   that, too!

Maybe most important things I’ve learned through the whole process of making New Years Resolutions is to identify goals and prioritize time…and also to respect myself for trying…even if things don’t turn out exactly the way I wanted them to!

Coming  in January, 2014:  "The Belly Dance Handbook: A Companion For The Serious Dancer"

By Princess Farhana, designed by Maharet Christina Hughes, foreword by Artemis Mourat

This book was a New Years Resolution in 2008!