Sunday, March 13, 2011


I HATE those constant scam emails asking for dance classes and fitness classes... this one just happened to be the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back...and I wrote back!

On XXX, 2011 at 7:47 AM,> wrote:

I hope this email meets you in good health and spirits.
My name is XXXX, I would like to get a quote as well as book beginners classes for fitness with you for a group of 6 on the following dates:
4th of April 2011 to 15th April 2011
Timing for classes maybe 8am-10am. Is this ok with you?
We would be coming over for vacation/tour. After discussing with the others we decided on having two sessions per day with Three (3) in each group
Please kindly get back to me with the quote/total cost for your services in the format below:
1. Price per person/hour:........
2. Total cost for 6 persons/2 hours each day for 2 weeks:........
3. Payment option
Types of credit cards accepted:.....
4. CONTACT DETAILS (for my records and documentation):
You full name:............
Phone/Mobile numbers:.....

Best Regards

Hi there,

Hope you are well, and thanks so much for your interest.

Indeed I am in good health, and my spirits have already risen with your email.

I would love to discuss teaching fitness classes with you and your group, and the time period you stated - April- is just perfect for getting in shape for summer!

Instead of just a couple of two hour sessions per day, I believe it would be a great advantage for you and your group to do do a full program of 10-18 hours a day.

And though I'm sure you can afford these semi-private lessons, we really don't need to discuss payment options, because you and your group will be expected to barter in exchange for this exclusive fitness opportunity. Trust me, you will be in GREAT SHAPE by the end of our time together!

The customary "pledge" you will make for being in my presence- not to mention my time and expertise - is sometimes referred to formally as acting as an as "indentured servant", for an undefined amount of time.

In laymen's terms, that means I will expect you and your group to get yourselves in shape by functioning as as " slaves" (or "servants" if you prefer that term) for me and a select group of my friends.

Your duties will include attending to us in any way we wish, including but not limited to: housework such as dusting, mopping, scrubbing floors, doing laundry, ironing, gardening/ yard work, serving food and drink, moving furniture, and the like.

If any of you are deemed attractive, there may be other duties as well, but of course, we can discuss this at a later date.

You will learn a lot from this experience, as well as get in tip-top shape for summer, I can assure you!

Looking forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience.




  1. Wow, can I use this same idea when friends ask me to undercut my dance teachers by teaching them belly dance for free?