This story originally appeared as the first post on this blog, February 10, 2009. Enjoy!
In this day and age, we can all speak freely and without shame about our dysfunctions.
Substance abuse? Anger problem? Gambling?
There is always a support group in place to help you. But there is one serious problem that society hasn’t yet addressed, and it’s affected a growing number of individuals the world over.
BELLY DANCE ADDICTION
Has belly dancing taken over your life? Does it dominate your thoughts and prevent you from performing simple daily tasks? Will it ever be possible for those who suffer from this affliction to lead a normal life?
Have you hit Balady Bottom?
The first step towards a full recovery is to admit that you are powerless over your addiction.
Please spend a few minutes to take a long, hard look at yourself and assess your lifestyle. Answer these key questions as honestly as possible to determine if YOU are a Belly Dance Addict!
YOU MAY SUFFER FROM BELLY DANCE ADDICTION IF:
You open your costume closet and its contents are equal to the down payment on a large house.
You have no idea what the works of Bach or Beethoven sound like, but can easily identify the work of Abdel Halim Hafez or Farid Al Atrache.
You own more “bling-bling” than any chart-topping hip-hop artist.
Your hair-do is larger, more elaborate, flower and feather-filled than a Las Vegas showgirl’s headdress…in a John Waters movie!
You cannot identify designs by Gucci, Versace, Prada or Dior, but can readily tell the difference between creations by Amira El Khattan, Bella, Eman and Hannan…from across the room!
You talk about Dina and Fifi, Suhaila, Kajira, Sahra and Aziza so much that your confused friends politely ask if those women are your family members.
On a visit to a crafts or sewing store, you need to bring along a “safety buddy” to give you a “reality check” and prevent you from going on a wild spending spree.
After a visit to that same store, you are consumed by shame and guilt- and in tears, actually cut up your credit card.
Your cell phone has a specially downloaded Om Kalthoum ringtone.
You have the call-in line for Rakassah on speed-dial.
Solace is not merely emotional comfort, but your favorite band.
You hone your shimmies while waiting in line at the bank, post office or grocery store.
During tax season, your accountant pointedly asks you how it is possible you spent over $700.00 last year on make-up alone.
You don’t live in your Levi’s and a T-shirt…you live in Melodias and a Choli.
…Actually, you don’t really wear street clothes any more!
You mass e-mailed everyone you know to inform them that you finally mastered a down hip 3/4 shimmy.
Your wallet is held together by a rubber band because it’s routinely over-stuffed with tip money.
You are not familiar with popular television shows such as “American Idol” or “Desperate Housewives” but can recite- from memory alone- the running order of any IAMED live show DVD.
You believe that a stop at a traffic signal is the optimal time to perfect your belly rolls…and for practicing “air zills”.
You’ve been seriously pondering the idea that mastering a 9/8 cymbal pattern could lead to carpal tunnel syndrome…and as you ice your wrists, you wonder which came first: the Turkish coffee or the time signature?
The word “understated" would never apply to your personal fashion statement…and is no longer even a part of your vocabulary.
To you, “pop music” doesn’t mean Justin Timberlake or Gwen Stefani… it means Nancy Ajram or Hakim.
Your movements can easily be traced…. Just follow the trail of glitter!